I received a lot of messages about this blog. What started out as just a fun diary of the journey I have taken… has turned into a community of people looking for perspective into the bdsm life. Well, I have decided to come back and share how my life in bdsm has changed over the last couple of years.
First, I moved offline to more in-person experiences. Fetlife has been a huge help. I spend endless nights researching what events are happening in my area, what groups are hosting parties, and what people are attending those events. I had always loved rope, and would regularly tie myself up when masturbating. So naturally I was drawn to bondage/shibari classes. I met some amazing people and even found a play partner who would tie me up for many years. We will call him Sweets.
Sweets was not only my play partner but would also become one of my best friend. Someone who I trusted wholeheartedly. Our dynamic was so different from anything I had before. Mainly because we never had sex, we didn’t kiss, or even cuddle – which is what I wanted. I would let him tie me up and trust that he would never touch me in a way that would make me uncomfortable. I learned so much about self-control and evolving dynamics. So many of my past experiences were with men and women who wanted my physical body and the pressure that came with my submission. But I later learned that it was me – as the submissive – who had all the power and control. That a true Dom would only play within the boundaries that I set.
I began to move around the country and found other community members I could play with. I found men who were capable of suspending me in the air while tied up. Thus furthering my education as a rope bottom and gaining knowledge of my own limitations. Then at some point – not sure when – a light turned on. If I can experience this pleasure from rope and impact and a bdsm dynamic, I bet I could guide someone along their own journey. Allow them to experience subspace and pleasure in a safe and open environment. After all, the media makes bdsm look that this scary and intimating environment when in actuality there is so much trust and communication that it really should be the norm in all relationships.
Top/bottom, Dominant/submissive, Daddy/Babygirl, and Rigger/Rope Buddy are all well-known dynamics in the community. Switch. A term I wasn’t very familiar with. I define it as someone who is capable of releasing their power but also able to take control back in a bdsm relationship. Someone who is top and bottom. Someone who can play both roles. This was the new me. I still hold on to my love for the release of control and power… but something about being the one who sets the senses and plans out all the pleasures my sub will experience is also exciting. Seeing them enjoy themselves is truly a delight in life.
I will continue to document my journey in this new role. But we will never forget the Master who started it all. The one who opened my eyes to the world of bdsm. And I keep that kindness in mine as I mentor and teach my future submissives.
I Submit to BDSM 