I Submit to BDSM

I’ve noticed there is a lot of cross-over between the BDSM and Swinger communities. People who are sexually open and looking to normalize conversations and interests that can be considered very “taboo”. Although I am not a swinger myself, I do enjoy the kindness and extroverted energy that comes with this community. As a kinkster, I prefer not to play with strangers or people I have not thoroughly vetted. This is where we differ. Swingers tend to have this very free-spiritedness that does not require such a structured process. But like most things, it’s a spectrum and I will not speak for the community.

I recently attended a happy hour that combined these two communities. Where all these people can come out and show their freaky side in the open. Well… mostly in the open. The event was hosted at a bar so clothes mostly stayed on. With the exception of a group photo where it was customary to flash the photographer. I was so grateful to have a friend who was well-known in these communities to introduce me around. As an introvert, it can be hard for me to initiate conversations. But being the beautiful woman that I am, many brave souls came up to me to make conversation. Saving me from having to muster up any courage. However, after a couple of drinks in me I was parading around talking to people in line, someone who was crocheting at a booth, and asking if people wanted to dance.

I met another fem dom who I felt understood my mind and kinks and my initial shyness. I was introduced to a swinger couple who were an absolute delight every time we ran back into each other. I considered them my safe spaces when I needed a break. I can’t wait to go to my next event to meet more people and discuss the dark depths of our interests. Practicing kink and BDSM is fun, but sharing those experiences with other people who won’t judge you or appreciate the art can be just as satisfying.

My goal is to find my own small group where we can host our own parties and have sex-positive conversations. I’d love to host my own rope class one day. But it all starts with finding your community. So if you are in my area, let me know. I try to get out as much as I can.