Usually, when you think dungeon, you think of a dark room with loud music and red leather couches. And although there are places that do look like that… the dungeon I went to this past weekend was transformed into a classroom. A learning environment with a stage, many chairs, a projector, and free coffee. This weekend was all about Tops, Dominants, and Masters. The kinky people who identify on the left side of a D/S dynamic.
My first class is about communicating with our neurodivergent and autistic play partners. How having a set of headphones can really change the game if someone is overstimulated. We discussed how tops/doms may need more information during our negotiation process to ensure their safety. My next class focused on play with different body types. Whether you are low iron, plus-size, or have bad knees, everyone deserves to be kinky safely. In my final class, I listened to panelists from different backgrounds share their thoughts on how we can continue to build a better kink and BDSM community for BIPOC folks. I really enjoyed that every class was filled with a beautiful blend of information, but also had space for discussion and feedback.
Day 2 carried a different energy. We learned about the legalities of enjoying the kinkier things. How risks are always involved, and the best thing we can do is have a plan for when things go south. We were educated on creative ways to fulfill your “why”. The WHY that represents your intention for participating in BDSM. Is it because you have sadistic tendencies? Because you’re a caregiver and want to provide for someone in a certain way? Or maybe you want to experience dangerous desires in a safe environment? By centering kinky play around your why, it ensures that each person in the dynamic is being satisfied.
We ended the weekend with a session called “Kink through the Ages”. We heard all the variations of “what is ageism” and how is it affecting our community. I listened to such passionate people discuss how mentorship is at the heart of how we can honor tradition while also becoming more inclusive. As a younger person myself, I’ve usually always taken the advice and feedback from people who are older and more experienced than me. But as someone who has participated in the kink community for over 9 years, I forgot that I also have a story to tell. I’ve always been inspired to document my struggles here in this blog so that the next generation of kinksters can be well-informed and experience less of those struggles. I hope I’ve done that here.
Thank you to all the presenters who took the time to educate us 💜
I Submit to BDSM 